Saturday 31 December 2011

What a coincidence!


16 Anon 2005/09/24() 15:49:37 ID:p3kVtRv3
I almost got stuck in a toilet sometimes ago.

331 Anon 2005/09/24() 19:53:10 ID:p3kVtRv3
>>16
Hahaha what a coincidence! Me too!

332 Anon 2005/09/24() 19:55:02 ID:p3kVtRv3
It was myself.

Thursday 29 December 2011

What's Manko?


238 Anon05/08/26 04:36
When I was at elementary school, I heard the word “manko (pussy)” from my classmate, and I was curious about it.
So I asked mum “What’s manko?”
She taught me “That’s where you come from.”
The following day, my teacher questioned “Do you know where you are from?”
Since I was a good student who always raised a hand first, I proudly said

“Yes, that’s manko. Manko!”

My life as an honour student started collapsing at that time.

Tuesday 27 December 2011

Last day to visit


108 Anon 2009/05/25() 22:34:50 ID:1zl/3zIXO
Today, an old man who just retires his job is eating a bowl of Soba noodles by himself.
That’s Soba noodles with one tempura prawn at 500yen.
The man has been coming to this Soba restaurant nearly every day over the past 30 years, but he has barely had a conversation with shop staff.
Of course he doesn’t have a reason to talk with anyone today as well, but he somehow talks to the restaurant owner who looks as old as him.

“I retire my job today.”
“I see.”

That is the whole conversation.
They don’t have other topics to talk about.
His retirement means his last day to visit the restaurant.
Then, suddenly another tempura prawn is put on his bowl.

“Is it okay?”
“Just have it.”

The man has Soba noodles while crying.
A flood of tears covers his face because of the owner’s heart-warming kindness.
The man determines that he will keep visiting this restaurant even after retirement.
The old man takes out a 500 yean coin from his wallet and says

“Give me a bill”
“800 yen”

Sunday 25 December 2011

Christmas

362 Anon : 2008/12/25(Thu) 17:56:41 ID:kIeKToXZ
Cos I was fired today although it’s Christmas, I’m drinking in desperation.
What the fuck is it today?
Die already, stupid Jesus Christ!

377 Anon : 2008/12/25(Thu) 22:59:51 ID:Y07NmYpS
>>362
Unfortunately he’s already dead.

Saturday 24 December 2011

Santa

907 Anon : 2008/03/15(Sat) 22:57:49 ID:0VqWm+Vg
I suppose Santa Clause is rather
“The wish of parents that they want their children to be the kind of kid who believes in Santa”.
So the duty of children is to grant them this wish.

In my family’s case, sometimes Lupin the third came from time to time
And left the letter that says
“Your money you got from Grandpa is in our hands
                                                                                 -Lupin the third”
The handwriting looked as neat as my mum’s.

Friday 23 December 2011

Dad's first email


572 Anon 2011/05/02() 12:21:58.43 ID:KVMR8R1r0
My dad’s first email

Title: Is this all right?
Text: Is this really all right?

Thursday 22 December 2011

Fail

I couldn't find the video whether she was alright or not but apparently she was not injured according to some responses on 2chan.

Wednesday 21 December 2011

How to deal with having a shit in a bus


481 Anon : 2005/11/15() 22:42:23 [sage]
As I was young, I had a weak digestion and often had diarrhea.
When I was on the way to go to high school, I had a shit in my pants in the crowded bus.
I thought “Oh crap!” but I immediately ran away to my imaginary world so nothing mattered.

482:名無し職人 :2005/11/15() 22:59:31 [sage]
>>481
Hey hey hey heeeey!
It does matter!
You didn’t solve any problem at all!

Tuesday 20 December 2011

Two dogs


1 Anon2007/09/04() 11:30:44.09 ID:ykORM0yr0
When I was still at elementary, on the way back home, I was idly looking at two dogs playing together. And an old man took a photo of me.
A few months later, on the local newspaper that mum gave to me, there was my photo looking at the mating of two dogs with the title “Curiosity”.

Monday 19 December 2011

Naughty niece


306 Anon2006/05/30() 23:58:17 ID:+UW1RKN10
This is about when my grandma passed away.

After her funeral, my 5 year old naughty niece became so bored and she started playing with a microphone at the funeral hall.
My grandma passed away at the age of 91, which was a peaceful death, so the funeral was not something that everyone was sobbing.
So we let the niece play with it, but she got excited with a microphone more and more and aimed it at grandma’s body in an uncovered coffin and said
“How do you feel right now?”

Sunday 18 December 2011

Exhibitionist on the beach [Image]

The coastal story 2009: 99% exposure

 The boy's comment "Jeez..."

Saturday 17 December 2011

80km + 100km = ?

38 Anon : 2005/12/06() 17:03:10 ID:mdjga362
What happens when you throw a ball at the speed of 80km in the train running at 100km?

43 Anono : 2005/12/06() 17:03:15 ID:R712aW260
>>38
Obviously you’ll be told off

Thursday 15 December 2011

First time love hotel

43 Anon2009/09/19() 03:15:15 ID:ORw16B9lO
When I was at 15, I went to the love hotel close to my house with my girlfriend for our first sex.
I was still virgin back then, and I was worried that I might be caught for being in the love hotel although we were still high school students.
I quickly pushed the button of the empty room and rushed to the reception.

45 Anon2009/09/19() 03:23:08 ID:ORw16B9lO
Restlessly waiting for the key given by a receptionist, the receptionist put the key on the table roughly so I almost pissed my pants.
As you know, the reception windows at love hotels are usually screened so that you can’t see the face of receptionists. However, I could see her face through the chink of the screen.

It was my mum.
She said “It’s free of charge today. Just calm down and do it manly.”
My girlfriend and I only watched TV without words for two hours, and went back home.

Tuesday 13 December 2011

Three happiest moments

173  Anon :2011/06/06() 20:07:50.88 ID:DOobI942
Men have three happiest moments in life.
  1. When a women who a man is in deep love with accepts his proposal
  2. When she gives a birth to their baby
  3. After a half century, when he passes away at hospital while his beloved one holds his hand

Women have three happiest moments in life.
  1. When a man who a women is in deep love with proposes to her
  2. When she gives a birth to their baby
  3. After a century, when her husband passes away

Sunday 11 December 2011

Taxi driver

678 Anon2011/05/31() 17:22:16.51
I’m a taxi driver.
In summer last year, I had 28yo-ish beautiful mother and her son.
Getting into the taxi, she was yawning a lot.
I asked her whether she was exhausted.

Mother “I don’t have much sleep lately”
Me “Yeah it’s hard to fall asleep at hot nights like these days.”
Mother “Yes, I really can’t sleep well....”
Then her 3yo-ish son said
“Mummy, you can’t sleep because you are licking daddy’s peenie!”

I had’t seen such blushed face that was as red as tomato.

Friday 9 December 2011

Conditional reflex

27 Anon 2005/12/19() 13:51:02
A few days ago, I went back home early morning after having drinks all night and getting totally drunk.
My wife got raged and we had a terrible argument.
She blamed me a lot.

Wife ”........but you could at least give me a call!”
Me “I was way too drunk so I couldn’t...”
Wife “Is that the only reason!? Not giving me a single call, you didn’t even come back at night! I called your mobile too but you didn’t answer!!”
Cat “Meow”
Wife “Meow (looks like its her automatic responsive habit).......I was so worried! You made me feel so anxious!!”
Cat “Meow meow”
Wife “Meow meow..... I even thought about calling the police cos you might have been involved in something serious!!!”

Please, please don’t talk to the cat while we are having a fight......
I had to bite my lip so hard so that I would not laugh....

Wednesday 7 December 2011

2D influence

894 Anon2011/05/27() 01:49:23.18
My dad said “If you don’t marry anyone, our genealogy ends in your generation”
So I told him “I have Azu-nyan so I’ll leave marriage and that sort of stuff to big brother”
But apparently my big brother is also saying “I have Azu-nyan so I’ll leave that kind of thing to little brother”
Probably our genealogy ends here because of Azu-nyan.

Monday 5 December 2011

Question

775 Anon2006/08/14() 06:24:11 ID:f0qmjSE3
Here’s the question

1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 9, 11, *, 18

What number goes into *?

778 Anon2006/08/14() 06:34:32 ID:SwpJ9/kS
>>775
I dunno
What’s the answer?

779 Anon2006/08/14() 06:37:50 ID:f0qmjSE3
>>778
The answer is 15.
They are the numbers that came up in my mind and placed in order.

780 Anon2006/08/14() 06:39:53 ID:SwpJ9/kS
A bit funny but fuck you!

Saturday 3 December 2011

Telepathy

918 Anon2011/06/12() 11:52:22.75 ID:ECGUyTfb
In the train, I had eye contact with a baby held by his mother.
As that baby made eye contact with me several times, I was a bit ticked off.
Looking straight at his eyes, in my mind, I said “There’s nothing to talk about with a merely powerless baby like you” as if using telepathy.
Then, the baby held the collar of the mother’s blouse and pulled it down.

He patted the white lace of her bras exposed, and said “I know what you want me to do, bro! Say what you want next!” in his eyes.
So I said “Well done, baby. Take that lace off next!” in my eyes, and the baby started tackling with the lace of bras.
But his mother realised this, tapped his hand and wore the blouse back.
They got off at the next station.

When they were leaving, I clearly heard the baby’s telepathy saying
”Sorry for failing the mission, bro. See you around!” in his eyes as a form of his crying.

I was awakened to the telepathy ability in a humid hot evening.