Good-looking American teacher

577 Anon：2005/10/02(日) 17:51:52 ID:waPi76c3

When I was at high school, a fairly good-looking American teacher came to the English class.

His class was like he called up students’ name one by one, and those who were called went to the front and had to talk to him in English.

Prior to the class, he had a list of student names written in ABC.

At the beginning of his class, girls were making a fuss as he was good-looking.

But that American teacher was sort of the strict person who remonstrated with them, and encouraged them to study seriously, so eventually every student got to take his class quietly.

The class went well, and the turn of Shimpo-san, who was kinda popular among boys, came.

The American teacher called her name loud as he did for the previous students.

“The next one is, hmm ahhh..... Chimpo! Chimpo-san!”
(Note: Chimpo means “Penis”)

All the students got stunned. Everyone there thought like “We must not laugh!!!”

Probably he was trying to say “Shimpo” but it sounded absolutely like “Chimpo” in fluent Japanese,

But we couldn’t keep quiet because his Japanese wasn’t fluent at all but only his “Chimpo” sounded definitely native. One top of that, he was calling “Chimpo” with “san” so politely.

We ended up laughing so much, and Shimpo-san was so blushed and drooped her head.

The American teacher misunderstood that Shimpo-san was made fun of by other students, and shouted “Shuuuuuut uuuuuuuuup!!!” which was loud enough to drown out students’ laugh.

The classroom turned to be silent due to his angry face and his burning spirit.

He put a hand on Shimpo-san’s shoulder and said “Why do you guys laugh at Chimpo? Has Chimpo done something wrong?”.

I’m pretty sure that everybody then thought “Because of you! And please stop repeatedly mentioning male’s sex organs!”.

He tried to comfort her by saying

“Chimpo, cheer up! Come to the front. Chimpo, stand up!”

Shimpo-san laughed too.

Self-hugging device [Video]

Apparently this device gives you back a hug when you hug this.
If you strongly hug this, this hugs you back strongly.
The university that invented this one also made this Kiss Transmission Device...

Would you marry me?

I had proposed to a neighbourhood girl when I was little

But she teased me by telling everyone about that for the whole 6 years at elementary school,

And she kept making fun of me because of that for the whole 6 years at secondary school

Even now, she mocks me about that when we have dinner.

Obsessed with a box [Video]

Zidane

291 ：Anonymous
If I could be born again, I wanna be Zidan.

I want to be Zidane and work for a motorbike shop.

294 ：Anonymous

>>291
Play soccer.

Dogeza sleeping cat [Video]

The cat sleeping while sitting like Dogeza

Men’s intention

40 Anon(東日本):2011/03/17(木) 22:49:20.47 ID:TC9JyxvGP

 (Men’s intention)

“Hungry” = Hungry

“Sleepy” = Sleepy

“Tired” = Tired

“I like your new hair style” = I like the one before you got haircut

“That cloth looks good on you! You should buy it!” = I don’t give a shit about  what you buy, let’s go back home soon

“Let’s go watch a movie” = I wanna have sex after that

“What about dinner after this?” = I wanna have sex after that

“Boring” = Do you wanna make love?

“I love you” = Let’s fuck

“I love you too” = Now I said this, so you let me fuck you!

Gorgeous wank

13 VIP：2009/05/13(水) 11:54:47.71 ID:tMufXkkb0

One autumn day in the final year of my high school, my parents and sister went to relative’s place and I was left alone at home.

I thought I would have the most gorgeous wank I could imagine.

In the first place, I played my favourite porn on the big TV in the living room.

Took my sister’s panties from the washing machine, took all my clothes off, wore sister’s panties on the head, and wanked while standing still.

It was amazingly exciting to masturbate at home where nobody was around in the middle of the day.

Getting more and more excited, I shouted like “Waaaaao great!! Yeaaaaaahh!!! Great!!!!”, jumped around the room and wanked while playing the air guitar.

I jumped up on the table, looking at myself in the mirror nearby, pausing like JoJo and wanking.

The greatest pleasure made me forget to wipe sweat and saliva.

“Here I coooooome!! Boraboraboraboraboraborareviiiiia!!!”

I looked back to splash cum in the rubbish bin.  

My parents and sister were standing there, having vague expression on their face that was neither anger nor sadness...

“W-What a hell are you guys doing here!?”I shouted at them.

Now, thinking back then, the ones who wanted to shout “What a hell” was probably rather them.

At that moment, I was the most unfortunate guy on this planet, year for sure.

Everyday was so tough for me over the several months following that day. My family had been looking at me like some kind of filth or a retard.

But I’m still alive here.

If some of you guys are now in a big trouble, wanting to kill yourselves, please keep one thing in your mind.

We, humans are much stronger than you think.

We will be able to get over any difficulties we encounter.

The ways to get attention

54 Anon :2011/02/26(土) 14:11:55.62 ID:GoHjapo80

For guys (The things to do to keep attention of chicks)

• Admire her
• Frequently call her
• Look for topics she would enjoy
• Listen to her stories as if you are really interested in them no matter how boring they are
• Keep fit and neat
• Carry her bags no matter how heavy they are
• Be available whenever she calls you
• Prepare gorgeous dinner and wine
• Present luxurious accessories
• Always say ‘I love you’  

For girls (The thing to do to keep attention of good-looking guys)

• Take your cloths off

Cool invention: 3D Hologram Table Display [Video]

Accounting software

113 Anonymous 2006/05/17(Wed) 06:24:19 ID:MEz1xQtT0

It’s about the accounting software I’m using.

3 months after I hadn’t input income, the message “Did you quite your job?” popped up.

Damn, this bloody software pisses me off!

Wheedling

70 VIP：2009/05/13(水) 13:39:09.73 ID:X8kXNSSy0

At elementary school

I told my friend that if she wants to get her hair straight, she needs to soak her hair in hot water and go to bed without drying the hair.

The following day she came to school with fluffy hair just like a lion.

She easily believed silly lies.

At junior high school

She said she loves boiled eggs

So I suggested to use microwave to cook.

The following day, she got furious at me.

It was so funny to make fun of her.

At high school

She helped me study classic Japanese as I couldn’t pronounce some words properly (on purpose).

For me, she read loud “Anaru/Anal (meet in old Japanese)” so many times in the classroom.

I got a better mark for the exam than her.

She was happy with my results as if she got a good mark so I told her what Anaru means.

She didn’t talk to me for a few days.

Today

I told her how happy she will be if she gets the same house and surname as me.

She was easily wheedled this time as well.

Now I just can’t help smiling.

Authentic curry restaurant

I went to a curry restaurant run by an Indian family after work today.

I ordered curry, and the curry was served without a spoon.

I thought ‘Wao such an authentic Indian restaurant’ and ate with my hand.

At the time I finished half of my curry, the Indian staff brought me a spoon with the guilty-looking face.

Attack alarm

687 Anon：2009/11/29(日) 18:35:59.16 ID:JuQDUx340

A few days ago in the early morning, something was loudly beeping outside my house.

I went outside and found a secondary school girl crying on the road.

An attack alarm was in her right hand.

Attack alarm!?

“What’s wrong!?”

“When I fell down, the activating cord was caught by the branch and the alarm was activated....”

“Where’s that cord?”

“It dropped into the drain there....”

I brought some screw drivers, took the alarm into bits,

and stopped it as it could bother neighbours.

When I realised, several neighbours were around us, looking at me.

A sobbing secondary schooler sunk onto the ground

with a middle aged man (yes, that’s me) eager to break the attack alarm in his pyjama...

I heard the siren coming to this way...

Don't make 2D caracters 3D ever! [Image]

Holy water

707Anon (兵庫県)：2010/07/31(土) 22:01:02.58 ID:97wN9QxU

A few days ago, my wife said she’d go to some sort of spiritual springwater place

So I suggested like “Why don’t you soak something you always carry around in the springwater?”

She came back home with her water-damaged mobile phone.

Stolen undies

One day, all the underwear of my niece’s was stolen.

Unbelievably I was the first suspect who did this.

My little brother doubted that I stole the underwear of his daughter only because I was single although I was over 30.

He suspected me although we are related by blood, although we are brothers, although we’ve grown up together.....

I was unreasonably suspected by my brother merely because I had been virgin while I was over 30. This is really unfair and I am truly upset. My feelings are filled with sadness and depression.

Indeed I was the one who stole the underwear. But it is a trivial matter. It is completely off the point of an argument. What I want to complain about here is the fact that ‘I was the first suspect while there was no evidence’.

Hello Kitty in 3D [Image]

Give a birth

217 Anon：2010/11/24(水) 16:02:18 ID:A2h7hk4J0

When I was little and taking a bath with Mum,

She said “You were born from here by cutting and opening up”,

pointing the mark of her panty surrounding her waist .

I thought she had been cut into two from that line (like an egg) and I had been taken out

So I thought giving a birth must be a seriously dangerous thing

I swore to myself that I would take care of her well.

She succeeded in bringing up the dutiful son.

Oh shit, I’d been tricked for years! (｀Д´)

Thread: Why the hell do men pat women when given a blow-job?

1 Anon：2011/03/21(月) 12:28:48.52 ID:EbvVYeul0
I actually like it...

7 Anon：2011/03/21(月) 12:31:57.41 ID:pO0Rm5ucO
My girlfriend shook off my hand when I did it

11 Anon：2011/03/21(月) 12:33:23.12 ID:1fDdgcWLO
>>7
lmao

74 Anon：2011/03/21(月) 14:19:43.11 ID:Ejd9RBc20
Do girls really like it?

I used to do it a lot cos I wanted to do something for her in return

77 Anon：2011/03/21(月) 14:32:27.35 ID:Gu/22OOl0
>>74
Get rhythm.

It’d be easier for your girlfriend to suck yours

Make the rhythm faster and faster

43 Anon：2011/03/21(月) 13:00:26.80 ID:tLSNlQ7V0
I can’t forget the day when my first girlfriend gave me a blowjob while licking my nipples...

47 Anon：2011/03/21(月) 13:02:05.84 ID:5lO1Hs4q0
>>43
Your GF’s amazing

49 Anon：2011/03/21(月) 13:02:57.25 ID:e6FcZ0/4O
>>43
Is your partner King Gidorah?

Clever or Beautiful

590 VIP 2011/01/12(水) 05:40:19.05

Woman “Clever women and beautiful women, which do you prefer?”

Man “Neither of them, because I like the woman like you”

Woman “Glad to hear that! ........hey”

Thanks for your advice

590  578：2006/04/27(木) 23:46:16 ID:R35/mOOR

Thank you so much for your advices!

Realising how close-minded I was,  my cock came out

But now I can positively think about things around me thanks to your help.

Also I noticed that the person who imitated my work was one of those who read my book,

So I thought I should’ve been more confident cos my work was copied due to its uniqueness.

I could finally beat the writer’s block and submitted the new book just now.

This new one is the story I’ve been drawing up for several months.

I’m more than happy if you guys read my work again.

I’ll take a rest tonight.

I feel like I can have a good sleep for the first time in the past several months.

591  Anon：2006/04/28(金) 00:25:22 ID:xqHCv2EQ

I wonder if >>590 already went to bed.

In his second line, something shocking came out but hope he put it back in his pants.

I don’t mind him sleeping while it’s outside the pants as long as he’s sleeping well tho.

Curse

792 Anon：2010/11/28(日) 11:50:47 ID:pSGBSmeh0

I got a grimoire.

At the beginning of the book, it says

“If you properly follow these steps your wish will be granted, however the curse comes back to you when you fail to do so. Are you prepared to do this?”

Of course,

I have a guy who is absolutely unforgivable to me.

That’s why I got this cursed grimoire.

I began to implement the curse on that guy.

“In the first place, close your eyes and concentrate on thinking about the face of the target.”

How could I forget that bastard? I thought of his face in my mind clearly.

Well what’s the next step then...

“In the second place, clearly visualise in your mind what sort of curse you want to give to the target.”

I’ll give you all the pain I can come up with!

What’s next?

“In the last place, open your eyes. ”

8XL SEX

42 名前：名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。[sage] 投稿日：2010/10/25(月) 17:51:17

8XL ←Sex

43 名前：名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。[sage] 投稿日：2010/10/25(月) 17:56:10

>>42

OMG!

44 名前：名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。[sage] 投稿日：2010/10/25(月) 18:05:37

>>42

Totally looks like!!

46 名前：名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。[sage] 投稿日：2010/10/25(月) 18:27:00

>>42

I don’t quite get it

47 名前：名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。[sage] 投稿日：2010/10/25(月) 18:27:24

>>46

Huh?

The most watched video [Video]

658 Anon (チベット自治区)：2011/05/22(日) 14:48:06.36 ID:J7coJ0/E0

The most watched video uploaded by Japanese...

As Japanese, I have to say it’s really embarrassing.

662 Anon (チベット自治区)：2011/05/22(日) 14:51:34.32 ID:f77JZ4XlP

>>658

How come this shit gets so many views? lol   

695 Anon (山梨県)：2011/05/22(日) 15:22:05.29 ID:ctNRfHC80

>>658

Look at the thumbnail for that video. It looks as if the girl is jerking off.

Most beautiful girl

45 名無し募集中。。。 New! 2011/02/15(火) 03:26:28.98 0

When I was at secondary school, the guy whom the most beautiful girl in my grade was falling for was somehow me.

Soon after getting to know this, girls in the class prepared for the circumstance where she could be alone with me to confess.

So we ended up being alone in the quiet class room.

Everything was fine by this stage.

She, who was a bit sickly, threw up because of feeling nervous.

I also threw up as a chain reaction of her vomit.

She was taken to the nurse room by her friends staying outside the class room, and I was forced to clean up the vomit of ours.

On top of that, next time when I saw her, she rejected me cos she would remember the sight with vomit on that day and start feeling sick when she sees my face.

Some guys are turned on by some fragile girls, but fragile girls in reality are like this after all.

Marriage reporting

713 Anon：04/01/12 21:06 ID:3WBrCG3M

My friend H (male)’s story.

When H was heading to his boss’s place to tell the boss about his marriage, H encountered his colleague K (male).

H “Where are you going?”

K “I’ll marry my girl next month so I thought I would talk about this to the boss.”

H “Seriously? I’m gonna marry soon too! And I was about to talk to the boss about it now.”

K “Cool, let’s go there together.”

H&K “Excuse me, can we have a word?”

Boss “Oh hi, what happened to you guys coming here together”

H&K “We’re going to get married!”

Boss “What!?”

Dementia

696 Anon(熊本県)：2011/02/16(水) 22:52:37.13 ID:b7nOZx6V0

Yesterday my grandfather bought a book for dementia prevention.

Today he bought the same book too.

Love ring [Image]

http://twitpic.com/1vqf5y

Reason to say no

227 Anon：2011/02/03(木) 13:34:55.95 ID:hIpu5X6hQ

Although we were close enough to kiss each other quite often, when I asked her out she rejected by saying “Sorry” while crying.

I was really shocked so that I shut in my house and didn’t even work for about a month,

But I managed to get over it and eventually went back to work.

One day I heard that that girl died from my friend.

When I ran to her house, her mother gave me a letter from her.

Basically not much time was left for her when I confessed to her. That’s why she rejected.

The letter ended with the words “I have been in love with you so much”.

Since she didn’t look that sick back then, and she didn’t even act like she had such a serious disease,

I really couldn’t realise that.

When I laid flowers on the tomb of hers, the tears somehow didn’t fall off at all.

But I cried as if I would die soon as well when I got home.   

You guys might think this is a fiction, but from the very beginning, this is indeed a fiction.