Step on a shit

67：日本昔名無し：2009/02/25(水) 11:30:56

The reason why you used to step on a shit quite often is because

‘You always looked forward’

Back then, we had dreams.

We had hope.

We faced up and looked forward the delightful future.

We didn’t give a damn about what was under our feet. We could fly for anywhere in a huge sky.

And what about now?

You huddle up yourself with hands in pockets.

You walk on the asphalt road while looking down with a gloomy face.

We, grown-ups no longer step on a shit

But we have trampled upon something precious....

Old man inside a magical girl [Image]

Visually imparied man

153 Anon：2011/02/23(水) 17:44:25.84 ID:3ZibOJ2n

Several years ago, there was a visually impaired man wandering in front of a laundry shop.

There was a notice of “Temporary closed” on the door of the shop.

I said “Looks like the shop is not open today”

And I thought about leaving there but there were lots of cars parked on the side way

So I offered him to take him to the place where there were not many cars.

Then he said “Then I have somewhere I need to go, so could you please take me there?”

It was a supermarket only 5min away from there so I said yes.

When we got to the supermarket, he said “Could you help me shop here?”

I didn’t have much to do that day so I decided to help him out.

“Please choose some sweets at around $10 for the gift for my friend” said him.

Thinking about the price and explaining what these sweets were, we shopped together.

After paying at the cashier, he handed the plastic bag with the sweets to me.

“Thank you so much. This is a gift for you.” said him.

“It was my first time to be talked and helped like this around here.”

He smilingly said so and left the supermarket.

I reckon he was happy then but also it was my first time to be given such a heart-warming gift.

Under control

365 (福岡県)[] 投稿日：2011/06/19(日) 01:49:22.21 ID:RSI9oQAO0

I had a fight with my big sister, and slept while having the sulks.

Next morning, when I saw my dick at the toilet, it was written “Apologise to me” on it by a permanent marker.

I thought she implied that she could do anything on my dick whenever she wants so I immediately apologised to her.

Magical experiment in the kitchen

508 Anon：2005/05/07(土) 22:20:07 ID:kQ5JDJRn

I often play a witch in the kitchen at night.

I pour coloured water made of my daughter’s paints into the flask bought from the nearby general shop.

I mix different colours and put dry ice in.

My main task is to pour white water into dark coloured one, and purify the cursed medicine.

Wishing coloured steam puffed out of the flask, I quietly mix coloured water.

When my husband leaves some soda water for his drink, I pour it as well for my magical experiment.

The bubbles are threw up from the bottom, and I feel like I did a bit of mistakes for my magic.

But my daughter (8 years old) found out about it.

So I can’t use spells anymore.

Ijigen Waltz [Image]

The way to make a man fall for you

425 Anon：2011/05/24(火) 15:24:24.55 ID:JewM5/J3

The way to make a guy fall for you

1. Choose a restaurant that has nice night view
2. After paying bills, say “I wanna see the night view with you alone”
3. Take him to the emergency stairs
4. Tap him for stars like saying “What beautiful sparkling stars! Catch em for me!” in a cute way
5. If he pretends to catch it by leaning forward over the fence, quickly crouch, hold his legs and fall him
6. Leave there after wiping your finger prints off on the doorknob

World peace

626 Anon [sage] 2011/06/17(金) 02:00:33.82 ID:ecHbTYhN

Lately I reckon that those popular chicks should be grateful of me for being unpopular.

I am the one who supports the population of good-looking chicks in the world by being ugly.

What if I turn to be hot?

The balance of the popular/unpopular collapses.

Being ugly is my duty.

This is for the world peace.

Want a peenie

19 Anon 2011/05/31(火) 23:25:55.16 ID:9q4QzjVz0

“I want a peenie! I want a peenie!”

Shouted a 3 year old-ish girl. She was following her mother.

Her mother just ignored her and walked as if she didn’t care what the girl was saying.

I guess that little girl just saw a penis of her friend at her kindergarten or somewhere when changing clothes, but for her mother, what she said can mean something quite different.

I wonder if the little girl will be grown up to the sort of girl saying “I want a peenie” to her boyfriend.

Confusing sign [Image]

Ouija board and four of us

778 Anon：2007/01/17(水) 01:38:41 ID:p2yra0A90

I was playing Ouija board with A-ko (girl), B-ko (girl) and C-ta (boy). And I thought of making fun of them by moving a coin. but it didn’t move.....

Having a look at A-ko, her eyes were glued on the coin and didn’t even blink.

We thought A-ko was possessed!

B-ko was fainted!
C-ta got out of the room!

I tried to take A-ko’s undies off!

Oh by the way, A-ko is admirably hot.

Nobody was seeing this and A-ko was unconscious...

Under such circumstance, it was just natural to do so.

Taking her undies off to her knees, I looked up to her face.

A-ko looked at me with a blank look.

At the moment I thought “ah she was released”, her knee was right in front of me.

And this is what I remember about that day.

The following day, I told A-ko that I was possessed but she hasn’t talked to me since then.

Ouija board sure is dangerous.

Hello cutie!

559 Anon 2006/11/02(木) 22:36:16 ID:DFCaxb/S

A few weeks ago, the sister of my girlfriend was saying “Hello cutie!” and chasing after a plastic bag of the nearby supermarket.

She thought it was a white dog.

What to prioritise?

Suppose the following five events simultaneously happen.

Rank them from what you’re likely to start dealing with first.

• You have a sudden, strong urge to urinate/poop
• A baby starts crying
• Someone visits and knocks on the door
• You receive a phone call
• The kitchen sink you were filling with water is about to flood

This shows what you prioritise the most/least in your life.
↓↓Answer↓↓

• You have a sudden, strong urge to urinate/poop [Yourself] 
• A baby starts crying [Lover] 
• Someone visits and knocks on the door [Friends] 
• You receive a phone call [Parents] 
• The kitchen sink you were filling with water is about to flood [Money]

↑↑Answer↑↑

Stuck in a deep hole

121 Anon：2010/10/17(日) 11:50:52 ID:olUjG1KL

I wake up and feel terribly freezing.

It seems it rained before. The rain left a pool in a deep hole.

It looks like I got stuck in that hole.

I’m squashed and cannot move my body even an inch.

Looking up from the bottom of the hole, somebody is looking down on me.

He looks around 40 years old.

I attempt to cry for help but can’t.

The man stars at me for a while, grins and leaves here.

What an asshole he is! Did he think I’m here because I want to!?

After a while, I hear that someone is coming again.

Looking up from the bottom, we have eye contact.

It’s a little girl.

“Daddy!”

She says aloud and leaves me alone.

If she tells that I’m here, her parent would come here for a help.

As I feel relieved, she comes back and says

“Don’t forget flushing after a poop!”

A muddy stream swallowed me.

Gay porn in the lucky bag

109 Anon：2011/06/25(土) 21:52:57.63 ID:VVFXgA6o0

In the New Year’s day, I bought an adult Fukubukuro (lucky bag) but there was a porn magazine for gay people in it.

Since there was a hag foraging others’ rubbish bags in my apartment, I thought I would throw that porn away in a rubbish bin at the station.

On the way to the station, I had a car accident.

On top of that, I was seriously injured (unconscious for 3 days) so all the family members gathered and ended up finding out that gay porn.

Beside, a few days before the accident, my parents read the essay about the sufferings of those with gender identity disorder, and they were moved so much.

So they discussed about gay and decided that they would put effort on ‘understanding the son’s preference’.

The wife of my brother was the only one who said “it might be some kind of mistake” but my brother told her off, saying ‘if even a family denies his preference, he’ll be isolated from anyone else!’....

And I got to know all this silly discussion several months after the accident.

That’s why when I went back home some months ago, mum was awkwardly talking about an old female classmate who she thought was so hot, my brother was saying that there was a cute boy in his class at high school, and that sort of thing.

Jesus...

Ham [Image]

Secreting something

805 Anon：2011/04/28(木) 23:18:22.99 ID:e0/arlt1

Like excretion and ejaculation, an action that requires you to secrete something from your body usually leads to feeling pleasure or mitigating discomfort.

Sweating a lot makes you feel good

And crying a lot makes your feelings better.

806 Anon：2011/04/28(木) 23:23:27.93 ID:e3k+FSA/

>>805

Like your hair falling out?

807 Anon：2011/04/28(木) 23:55:24.50 ID:r73GJEqT

Shut the fuck up!!!

My weird collecting habit

449 Anon：2006/05/01(月) 13:42:47 ID:uoDe7ivx

I somehow collect the bristle of my cat.

In between seasons, I can get lots of her bristle by brushing.

She looks like she’s feeling good, and I feel good to collect lots of it so it’s “Kill two birds with one stone”.

I also collect her nails and whiskers fallen out.

But one day, when a pot of instant coffee was filled up with her bristle, I began to feel that it was a shame that there would be no use of it.

I came up with a good idea.

My cat is black.

I cut off a brand-new black stocking, put double stick tape on it, pasted the cat’s bristle and combed it.

Taking 3 hours, I made a toupee. Next morning, I stuck it on my husband’s balding head with the same double stick tape.

I said “breakfast is ready!” and woke him up.

He went to the bathroom, still being half asleep.

“Oh my!!!!” said him and rushed to the kitchen, saying

“H-H-Hey something fluffy grew on my head! The hair grew!?”

I was choked up, laughed a lot so that he realised some discomfort on his head.

He peeled off the stocking with black bristle.

“Don’t show me a dream that I have to wake up from....” sadly said him.

I felt guilty and about to apologise to him

But looking at the cat browbeating the toupee made of her bristle and my husband saying “that’s yours!!” to her,

I couldn’t help laughing out loud again!

Testimonial presentation ceremony [Image]

Last homework

837 Anon ：04/11/05 21:57:17 ID:7ZRzBvsY

This is my friend’s story.

My friend was a kind of punk.

He always skipped class to hang out with his mates.

Most of the teachers at his high school gave up on him, but his homeroom teacher was different.

Seems like he was a strong man who tackled everything with all his effort.

He encouraged my friend who then faced a problem to go up to the next year.

Of course my friend often turned against that teacher but he never gave up on him.

My friend got a job offer from a construction company after high school probably because of his effort and that teacher's.

And last October, my friend had a strange dream.

In the dream, he was in the classroom of his high school with some students.

At the front of the classroom, there was that teacher standing with smile on his face.

He wrote ‘Self-study’ on the blackboard and said

“From tomorrow, you guys will have holidays but I’ll give you some homework!”

My friend booed but the teacher smiled at him and said

“This is the last homework from me. Enjoy your life.”

My friend said he felt weird when he woke up.

And that day, around noon, he was notified of the death of that teacher.

He didn’t tell me the cause of his death but he said it was sudden.

A few days ago, when we were drinking he told me this story, saying “today was the anniversary of his death.”

He was crying although he’s usually sort of a strong guy, which made me believe that he was steadily working on the last homework from his homeroom teacher.

Looks like you!

884 Anon： 09/07/18(土) 22:38:59

This happened to me just a few minutes ago.

After taking a bath, I was watching TV.

On TV, a girl, who looked a bit like the girl I’m falling for, appeared.

So I took a photo with my mobile and sent it to her with the message, “looks like you!”.

I checked what I had sent a bit later, and my dick was reflected in the TV table’s glass in the picture.

She hasn’t replied me yet.

I wish earth would explode soon.

Awesome invention: Invisible glass [Image]

Believe it or not, there are two glass cubes on the picture below.

The details can be found on here, or google “nippon electronic invisible”. Unfortunately, I cannot explain this well.