Encounter

106  774R : 2006/11/14(Tue) 19:31:15 ID:NUSeDaQR

The year before the last year, I was touring by myself by motorbike.

While having a break at the rest place, 20 year old-ish girl came talk to me.

She just wanted to ask me something about the motorbike as we had the same models.

We had a lively and enjoyable talk.

We exchanged our phone numbers.

In the end, that girl became my wife.

I wish I had ignored her then.

How I met your mother

372 Anon：2011/01/19(水) 19:32:28

When I was sniffing the school swimwear of the cutest girl in my class, that girl unfortunately showed up.

“You’re such a pervert! I’ll give you 10 times of whipping as a punishment!!” said that girl, and whipped me by the skipping rope.

The following day, she was taking class as if nothing had happened and my teacher didn’t tell me off for what I did but...

I got a letter from her that says “Come to the behind of the school building after class.”

When I went there, she was waiting for me with the skipping rope in her hand.

Continuing on the things like that for years during high school, university, workplace...

“I don’t wanna work anymore! I’ll be a housewife!!” said her, and we married after all.

I had her virgin but then she was like “hey... you.....be more....gentle....” which made me more keen on her.

I can’t tell my children how I met their mother.....

Hallucination

598 Anonymous 2010/09/29(Wed) 19:24:26 ID:Krc1BukL
When I was at high school, I often felt as if all the girls in my class were talking behind my back so I talked about it to my parents, crying like a little boy. They took me to the psychiatrist. He gave me some medication. Despite that, I started feeling as if even all the boys were speaking evil of me. I seriously thought like the medicine wasn’t working on me and I would go nuts and die soon.

At last I found the courage to talk about my mental sickness to my best friend, and he said “You’re not hearing things. All of the girls and boys are really talking about you like a shit. So just calm down, you aren’t mentally sick.” Good grief, I’m not mental!

Call girl

393 Anon: 2011/02/20(日) 11:20:08.11 ID:RG2+mEsv0

When I was working at the office in the US, I was invited by my colleague for a drink in his place.

He said his wife was away, and made a call to a call girl all of sudden.

The woman who showed up was a chubby middle-aged lady who probably used to be beautiful ages ago.

Still, it was my first time to have sex with a white woman, and I got excited.

While I was absorbed in fucking her in a doggy-style, my colleague tapped my shoulder.

I thought it was the sign for swapping, but he said

“Sorry for being late, but this is my wife.”

Dream

126 Anonymous 2008/12/09(Tue) 19:43:24 ID:naXzNI4H

Two school kids were walking. One of them suddenly stopped and said

“Oh I forgot it at school!”

“What is it?” asked another kid.

“My dream!” answered the kid. (maybe its school homework)

And they went back to the way they came.

Two middle aged guys were looking at this, and one said

“I feel like I forgot it too.”

“Even if you realise that now, it’s too late” said another guy. 

How come hedgehogs like holes? [Video]

Dear sister

9 :774RR :2005/12/29(Thu) 22:31:36 ID:+hu/L9LP
Sis  “What do you do when you’re upset?”
Me  “I usually ride on the motorbike and go somewhere”
Sis  “I see...”
Me  “What's wrong? Are there something depressing you?”
Me  “No not really...”
Me  “Oh don’t act so distant.”
Me  “Well...”
Me  “Well?”
Me  “...is the girl you were with yesterday your girlfriend?”
Me  “Huh?”
Me  “You were chatting with her in front of school.”
Me  “Ah I see, she’s just my classmate.”
Me  “Really?”
Me  “Why do I need to lie to you?”
Me  “Fair enough.”
Me  “Anyway aren’t you feeling depressed?”
Me  “No, I’m fine now! *giggle*”
Me  “You’re acting weird”
Me  “My brother can’t find a girlfriend so easily *giggle*”
Me  “Hey that’s rude of you.”
Me  “Don’t you have any plan even tho it’s Christmas eve today?”
Me  “Oh shut up! I like being by myself, girls are just annoying.”
Me  “I see, then what if I say I can be your girlfriend?”
Me  “Hey stop kidding me! Why the hell would I hav”
Me  “I can walk with you in Shibuya!”
Me  “Serious!?”
Me  “Are you taking it seriously? You’re cute!”
Me  “Of course I’m not takin”
Dr   “I’ll write you a prescription for medication for two weeks. Come see me after the new year’s day again.”
Mum “Thank you so much”
Me  “Thank you so much”

How to avoid earthquakes

4： 以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします：2011/04/14(木) 19:40:41.42 ID:Mxhk2XRo0

Problems solved

Sleeping pills

743 Anon@Take care of yourself
Is it true that if you take sleeping pills too much, you’ll eventually get addicted to them?

745 Anon@Take care of yourself
>>743
Definitely false. I’ve been taking them everyday over the past 22 years but I’m not addicted to them at all.

Dick shaped massager

6 Drizzling # 5pTqIcPy.E : 2005/03/29(Tue) 00:29:50 ID:DCS2YylF0
I happened to find a dildo in my sister’s room.
On top of that, she witnessed that I found it.
My sister came grab her dildo and turned it on.
“Ah, it works well on stiff shoulders”, pushing it on her shoulder.
Ah huh it’s just for massaging shoulders....its shape is just like a dick though....
“Oh yeah, stiff shoulders sure are big trouble!” I answered randomly.
Her face then turned serious all of sudden and she asked me
“Hey does yours vibrate like this?”
I got stunned and somehow answered “Y-Yeah...”
Since that day, she often glances at my crutch and gets blushed...
Mine actually doesn’t vibrate like it, sis...

Japanese acrobat: Just wao [Video]

You Pig

43 Anonynous 2011/01/13(Thu) 00:40:47.28 ID:+SvHtKLW0 (PC)
Recently my 5 year old kid often call me “piggy king” when he’s frustrated.
Is the “piggy king” some sort of cartoon character?

52 Anonymous 2011/01/13(Thu) 00:51:52.39 ID:LTHYAEIV0 (PC)
>>43
That’s your nickname your wife named behind you.

Moe

Today, when I went to the electrics shop to buy a hard disc drive to store my porn collection,

I happened to find a man shouting out “Moe! Moe!”, and wandering there.

I thought “Oh god, I wish I could eradicate all the sort of otaku guys like him” while looking at Buffalo’s 200GB HDD.

Having lined up in front of the cashier, that man came in my sight.

He was approaching a little girl.

Oh no, what's that pervert trying to do to that girl!?

I grabbed the USB cable that was the only thing that can be used as a weapon in my basket.

Then I heard the conversation of that man and the girl.

“Moe, stay by daddy’s side, okay?”

“Sorry”

I see, they are a parent and a daughter whose name is Moe. She looks like a smart child.

The one who should be eradicated is me.

Boring

In the class, I told my students to be careful not to be done anything mischievous by perverts.
A girl said “anything mischievous means something sexual right?”
I answered “Yes”.
The girl then said “That is rubbing boobs and things like that right?”
A boy disputed this like “Little girls like you have nothing to be rubbed, how boring!”
“Boring!? What do you mean!? You’re so rude!” all the girls got raged at what the boy said.
If we made a fuss in the class, it would bother the next rooms
So I said “I don’t think it’s boring” to calm them down.

I was summoned by the principal the following day.

Thread: Change this picture into something heart-hugging [Image]

1：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします：2011/04/05(火) 22:20:45.40 ID:6zhJzE8y0
Please

  

Correlation between magnitude and cup size

125 名無しさん＠涙目です。(愛知県) :2011/04/02(土) 20:44:30.34 ID:QmevJP3i0

Magnitude

M1:  G-cup bounce

M2:  F-cup bounce

M3:  E-cup bounce

M4:  D-cup bounce

M5:  C-cup bounce

M6:  B-cup bounce

M7:  A-cup get frustrated

Symbols of prefectures in Japan [Image]

Kind boy

331 : Anon :2007/06/13(Wed) 20:17:10 0

Around 5 year old boy and his parents came to a village where only one train runs per hour.

Because of the timetable trouble, the train stopped there for about 3 minutes.

The father left his wife and the child on the train, and started taking photos at the platform.

Then the child started crying and said “Daddy will be left there!” as he thought the train would depart soon.

No matter what the mother said to calm him down, he didn’t stop crying.

“Daddy! Get on the train now! No, don’t stay there alone! Daddy!!”

People in the train were looking at the boy, talking about him like “he’s such a gentle kid”

It was such a heart-warming scene.

The father was left behind in the platform.

Origin of April fool's day

113 名前：わんにゃん＠名無しさん[sage] 投稿日：2010/04/01(土) 14:17:48 ID:sAVSzduJ
A few hours ago two women around me were talking like

“Do you know why everyone can lie on April fool’s day?”

“dunno”

“Do you know Guild, an association of craftsmen in Europe in the 18^th century?”

“I’ve heard of it”

“Well, back then they kept the accounts when they were running a business.

But sometimes calculation didn’t match the numbers in the accounts. You know, there was no calculator then.

So they set a day in which they reset the gaps between them once a year, that is, 1^st of April.”

“Ah I see”
“The day became like the one in which no-one blames even if calculation and the accounts didn’t accord,

And then, being stretched the meaning of the day, it became like the day we can lie.”

“Wao really? Didn’t know that!”

“I’m lying tho”

“Oh shit”

Magnitude

317 名前：名無しさん＠十一周年[sage] 投稿日：2011/03/13(日) 12:22:30.63 ID:uJnnNuLi0

If Magnitude 1.0 was one shit...

M1.0　1 shit
M2.0　32 shits
M3.0　1,024 shits
M4.0　32,768 shits
M5.0　1,048,576 shits
M6.0　33,554,432 shits
M7.0　1,073,741,824 shits
M8.0　34,359,738,363 shits
M9.0　1,099,511,627,776 shits