Cat and tablets

684 Anon：2007/07/29(日) 00:53:15

In the beginning of May this year.

My boss was grumpy and he was taking his frustration out on me.

One day he told me off for something uncontrollable to me, called me useless and complained about my disability, which made me hate everything in the world.

I had depression so I had got a plenty of pills.

I was so disappointed at everything around me so I brought all the tablets at home and opened them up on the table to kill myself. While taking the tablets out of the tablet sheet, my cat came to my room as she likes playing with that sheet.

She usually plays soccer with it, but at that time she slapped my cheek and hands, scattered the tablets on the table, and screamed so loud.

I was stunned then but my parents came to my room hearing her scream.

After all I was scolded by my family and doctor and my suicide plan failed.

But eventually the boss of my boss got to know my mental state, and he was bitterly interrogated at the manager meeting.

Since then, every night my cat comes to my room before I go to bed, and stares at me right next to me as if she is making sure that I take the right amount of tablets.

I’m such a bad owner but thank you so much for being with me!

Frog

54 Anon：2011/06/02(木) 17:39:50.78 ID:7ZvFDqHp

I also have got a similar experience.

One evening, coming back from work, there was a frog in front of my house.

I was amazed cos there is no field around my house and it’s in the middle of the city here.

So I brought a piece of bread for the frog from my house but it didn’t make a move at all.

I thought frogs may be predatory so I brought a sausage but it didn’t move at all as well.

I was bored so I went back home.

In the next morning, my wife was furious because of the following reason.

“There is a big crap with a piece of bread and a sausage. Someone might be making fun of us but I don’t quite understand it!”

Of course I haven’t told her the truth.

I’m planning to keep this secret till I pass away.

Wizard

78 Anon：2011/05/08(日) 09:45:16.30 ID:W0KhB9Il

When an elderly woman was taking a nap while having a male cat on her lap, a wizard came to her.

“Hi, I’m a wizard. I can grant you three wishes”

“Stay away from me” said the lady. “Don’t make fun of an elderly woman.”

“Hey, I really am a wizard”

“Then why don’t you turn that pumpkin into a golden carriage?”

“Sure”

As soon as the wizard swang his stick, the pumpkin became a golden carriage.

Seeing this, the elderly woman was suddenly motivated.

“Turn me to a young beautiful princess!”

“Of course.” The wizard swang his stick, and the elderly woman became a beautiful princess.

“What’s next? This is the last one.”

“Turn my cat to a rich prince!”

The wizard swang the stick and the cat became a good-looking prince.

“I granted you three wishes so good-bye!”

After the wizard went away, the prince took the princess’s hand and whispered to her ear

“Now you regret that you got me castrated at the vet last year don’t you?”

Toilet bike that runs with 'ecological' fuels [Image]

Shit classification

78 VIP：2009/05/13(水) 13:49:23.32 ID:X8kXNSSy0

Ghost shit

Even if you think you pooped, there’s no shit in the toilet but when you wipe your arse, this type of shit is on the paper.

Clean shit

When you think you pooped, there is a shit in the toilet but nothing is on the paper when you wipe.

Wetty shit

The shit that makes you feel like it’s still on the arsehole even when you wipe 50 times. You might put the paper on the hole and leave the toilet.

Second shit

The shit that makes you feel like pooping again after you pull up your pants. If you try, you can actually shit again.

Heavy shit

The shit in the morning after the day you ate and drank too much.

Rocket shit

Since this shit comes out as fast as a rocket, you have to pull down your pants quickly.

Power shit

As this type of shit comes out with great force, the splash makes your arse wet. You have to wipe wide range of your bum.

Liquid shit

It takes a form of liquid, and generally speaking, it comes out with pain and big sound. Even 3 days after this shit, your hole might hurt.

Shocking shit

The smell is so strong that everyone stays away from the toilet after one hour of this shit.

After-honeymoon shit

The shit you have with sound without hesitation even when there is someone around.

Voice shit

This kind of shit is too hard to cut so you need to moan to have.

Break shit

Because of the great quantity, you have to have a break and flush once while pooping. Otherwise, the toilet gets stuck when flushed.

Back-to-nature shit

The shits naturally had and left in the mountain, on the sideway of a country town, or sometimes even in the underground of buildings.

Impossible shit

The shit you feel like making under the circumstance where you’re never be able to go to the bathroom. You can only give up everything or you have a back-to-nature shit.

Air shit

You’re sure you can poop, but only fart comes out from your hole.

Non-air shit

You let it out because you thought it was just fart, but it was a shit. In most cases, this shit leads to a grievous situation.